In The mood...

Brace yourself for a rant.

It's been a long time since I've been reminded how much I loathe my bank.
But the other day my strong dislike boiled over into absolute hate.

Not that I dislike their tellers who are always friendly and know my
name, or their marketing which is pretty well done. What I hate is their
policies, fees, comparative low rates, and inflexibility. Until now the
hassle of change has outweighed my dislike. But friendly can only go so
far.

It all started when I marched into my bank armed with printouts from
competitors websites and a strong frustration. It ended when I left the bank in a fit of fury.

The business banker escorted me to his desk and offered me a seat. I
explained my issue.

"You charged my Money Market account $10 for not having a minimum balance."

"Which account?" the banker asked.

I handed him a list of about a half dozen accounts I have at the bank and
pointed to the one I though was the one. He rifled through all five of my
accounts before he found the one with the charge.

"Yep. There it is," he said. "What do you want me to do?"

I stared at him like he was from Mars.

"Reverse it." I replied. "And can you set things up so I can avoid it in
the future."

He scanned the screen mumbling.

"Who does your payroll?" He finally asked.

"Does that matter?" I asked. "I have a payroll service. My issue is your
fees, not theirs."

Some more scanning and mumbling.

"We'll it seems you've been with the bank for a while..."

"More than thirty years. Over twenty of those with a business account."

"Let me talk to my branch manager."

I strategically spread my printouts across his desk while he was gone,
displaying bank logos and notes like "no minimum balance," "great
interest rate" and a half dozen other things.

When he returned he offered to close my account.

"I've been with your bank over 30 years, I have multiple business and
personal accounts with you and your solution to this is to close my
account?"

"Yes sir," he replied. "It's all I can do."

"I use that account to save money for things like taxes. Do you get that?"
I asked.

"Without the minimum in the account you'll get charged again next month."

"Isn't there anything you can do to overwrite that? Other banks do that,"
I said waving my hand at my printouts.

"I'm sorry," he replied. "I have a conference call in a few minutes. Our
branch manager can help you with this. Would you follow me?"

Guess what I'm thinking at this point?

Just wait. It gets better.

More next time...

Takeaway: A bad product and unhelpful employee can undo the best marketing.

* This account has been compressed and fictionalized for brevity and
confidentiality.